Global Resilience Solutions > Category:relief

Between Force and Surrender

If you're not as effective in every area of life as you'd like to be, you might want to consider the 
following...
 
You can react in one of two ways to pretty much everything in your life.  You can use FORCE 
(willpower) to control it, or you can SURRENDER to it.  Each has its place.  One of my clients 
brought this to my attention a few months ago.  I noticed she seemed unable to do such a 
simple thing as taking just 15-30 minutes each morning to "center" herself.   On the other hand, 
she was fighting furiously (and ineffectively) with her thoughts, with those parts of herself and her 
life she doesn't like.
 
In other words, she was choosing to SURRENDER to laziness (a terrible enemy you never want 
to surrender to, by the way).  And on the other hand, she was using brute FORCE to fight against 
her thoughts of inadequacy, fear, anxiety, loneliness and a host of others.
 
Like most of us, my client is in the habit of using FORCE and SURRENDER in exactly the wrong 
way.
 
We need to FORCE ourselves to lead a powerful life,  rather than giving into to our tendency to 
just let ourselves go.  That takes determination.  It always has and it always will. 
 
And yet, we need to SURRENDER inwardly to the truth about where we're at NOW.  That means 
we stop RESISTING our neurotic tendencies - our fears, our poor self-image, our sharp edges 
and the rest.  Why?  Because only by seeing reality as it REALLY IS can we overcome those 
neuroses.  
 
And we don't overcome them by FORCE, by repressing them.  That's what created most of them 
in the first place.  When we calmly stare our uncomfortable aspects in the face in a 
non-judgmental way, we find they begin to lose their hold on us.
 
There are lots of people who think RESILIENCE is about being tough.  And yes, there’s a place 
for that forceful “yang” approach.  It really is vital to building a deliberate, powerful and 
stress-free life.  However…
 
Equally important and often ignored is the judicious use of surrender, the “yin” approach, 
particularly on the more subtle emotional and spiritual levels... to the right things at the right 
moments, of course.  In fact, it’s the only way to become a fully functional human being.
 
Not surprisingly, the most effective tool for learning the proper way to surrender inwardly is the 
process of meditation.  Meditation puts you face to face with the very things you've been 
repressing for years or decades, yet gives you the space and comfort to "create space" for 
them and allow them to dissolve on their own.  New meditators are often astonished at how 
much emotional content they've been repressing and how neurotic it was making them.

If you're interested in learning more about the meditation process and how to transform every 
moment of your life into a meditation that builds your health and calms your thoughts and 
emotions, you can go to:

http://www.harapower.com/ 
 
The irony is, you'll never learn how to surrender to the REAL, to relax deeply into the essence of 
life and discover your true self, unless you know when to apply force.   Every authentic ancient 
tradition is built on this delicate balance between force and surrender.
 
Your friend in the "war for peace", 
 
~ Dr. Symeon Rodger
 


Meditation: Why You Need to Change Your Paradigm

One of the greatest RESILIENCE-BUILDERS out there is the regular practice of meditation. More and more people are taking up meditation for a variety of reasons, ranging from stress-management to seeking inner peace to enhancing their spiritual life to controlling their inner energy (Qi).

Unfortunately, most people are not getting nearly the benefits their meditation practice has to offer simply because they’re making a culturally ingrained mistake that every Westerner is pretty much bound to make…

…they meditate when they meditate; then they get up and switch their brain into the same old stressed-out “daytime” mode they’re so used to.

Hear this: your meditation’s effectiveness can be easily quadrupled by simply avoiding that habitual mental shift.

“Great,” you say, “but just how am I supposed to do that? My kids need their lunches made and a ride to school. My boss is on my case about that report and I’m run off my feet!”

SHIFTING YOUR FRAMEWORK

Fair enough. Let me explain… You’re obviously familiar with the idea that whatever you focus on, especially with strong emotion, grows and eventually becomes your reality.

So if you insist on focusing on how insanely busy you are and how everyone is making demands on you, then that will become your reality. Let’s call it the “fundamental background” of your life. Incidents will come and go throughout your day, but this “fundamental background” will always remain -ever-present and unchanged.

Suppose you decided to change that. What if the calm and centeredness of your meditation practice could be the NEW fundamental background of your life? What if your focus were constantly on that instead of on your problems and challenges?

For one thing, you’d have a lot less stress. Unpleasant incidents during the day would barely phase you. You’d be more effective and productive, since the meditative mind is always more effective than so-called “waking consciousness”. And you’d be more deeply relaxed, so your health and resilience would naturally improve.

“YOU STILL HAVEN’T TOLD ME HOW, DOC!”

Mea culpa – guilty as charged! So let’s get to that part now…

Here’s a step-by-step method you can use to get started. Keep in mind this won’t change your life overnight because your old habits of mind and body are SOOO deeply ingrained.

1. Meditate first thing in the morning

2. When you’re ready to finish your meditation session, remind yourself that maintaining your meditative mind, the awareness of your inner being, is going to be the “fundamental background” of your day.

3. Become aware of the delightful PHYSICAL sensations of meditation as you go through your day – the rhythm of your breathing, the inner energy contracting and expanding, etc.

4. By focusing on these sensations, strive to keep your mind and emotions clear and calm.

“Can’t be done,” you say? Nonsense! Generations of experience show that people living in far more challenging circumstances than yours and mine trained themselves to do this and reaped the awesome benefits of health, immunity, longevity, inner peace and spiritual insight. That’s why…

…you can too!

To learn about the SILVER BULLET for mastering meditation, whether you’re sitting, standing, moving or doing anything at all, go here:

http://www.warriorcoachinginternational.com/hara.html

~ Dr. Symeon Rodger




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